Sunday, November 16, 2008

and her name is me...

This is a totally random, maybe pointless post. Proceed at your own risk

I have just spent upwards of 12 hrs in bed.
I managed to do only one of the things I planned to do today and I do not regret it.
I needed the me time, looking at my last posts, I bet it’s been quite obvious that I have not been having the bests of times. I really thought I was going to lose my mind but I think I am over that hump now.

I once heard that sometimes the victory in a battle does not come from winning but rather surviving. I am glad to say I am surviving.

It’s the beginning of another work week and I have mixed feelings about it. My supervisor, whom I absolutely adore, is quitting. Her last day is on Tuesday and I am not looking forward to work without her. On the other hand, I finally get to see my bf, after two weeks! (This is the longest we’ve gone without seeing each other since we met! Lol)

I went to a karaoke bar for the first time last Friday, it was quite an experience, and yes I sang. And no there are no pictures or video. I actually had fun, I think I will do it again…at a different spot though.

It just occurred to me that all my friendships are geographically challenged. The people I’d much rather spend time with are in different states. I guess I have to make new friends or beg my preexisting ones to move. Anyone want to help me beg her to move to Dallas?
I really need to learn friend making skills fast or have God miraculously drop people in my life like Hes been doing so far..

I guess enough randoming for the day, its past my bed time. The VOTD is one of my absolute favoritest bible verses. Once I got the full meaning of the text. It changed my life….no this is not a Christian rhetoric , it really did change my life

Whoever has no rule over his own spirit
Is like a city broken down, without walls.
Prov 25:18

Sunday, November 9, 2008

aaaah've got a feeling!!

This past week was j one of those why me Lord kinda weeks, you know the ones where so many things go wrong and you begin to ponder your existence. As in, all of a sudden you become deep like you Socrates or something. Asking questions like “what is the purpose of my life? “, “Does God really see me?”

By Thursday I was soooo sad, as in depressed, down in the dumps, horrible to be around , complaining kind of sad. And did I mention I was in physical pain too? I have this horrid toothache (apparently I have a really really bad cavity and I have to have my wisdom teeth pulled)

I could not even find the strengh to pray, I felt very disconnected and abandoned and all I could see were my seeming imposiblities. and oh I worried!

Then I went to church this morning, Well, it started with the song that came on the radio when I got in the car(as you can tell, I have a thing for music, I honestly believe God speaks to me through song)it was declaration by Kirk Franklin, ( if you’ve never heard it, youtube it: Awesome message, awesome lyrics, awesome beat). Listening to this song, I began to feel something bubble up within me, a fight within my spirit. I was like you know what, I REFUSE to lose my mind over temporary circumstances; I refuse to become another bitter depressed female. I refuse to spend valuable time I will never get back wishing and hoping things were different. I WILL get through this.

That put me in the right frame of mind for service, which was off the chain as usual but the best part was at the end of service. You see, my pastor is kinda old school so sometimes he would randomly burst into one of those old gospel songs that they used to sing back in the day. The one he sang today was “I’ve got a feeling, everything is gonna be alright” (you gotta emphasize the “I’ve” like aaaaaaaaaaaaa’ve) and for the first time I truly believed I would be ok.

So right now I am about to start the new week, my circumstances haven’t changed. My insurance still won’t pay for my teeth, my car still is not fixed, I still have a failing grade in one of my classes. But my attitude has definitely changed cos aaaaaaaaaaa’ve got a feeling….

This is a faithful saying:
For if we died with Him,We shall also live with Him.
If we endure, We shall also reign with Him.
If we deny Him,He also will deny us.
If we are faithless, He remains faithful;
He cannot deny Himself.
2 Timothy 2:11-13

Sunday, November 2, 2008

For Simeon...

Hi! My name is ***** and I am a procrastinator....

I received an honest blogger award from Simeon ages ago and I have been too caught up to do a proper speech and he STILL gave me another award last week.
And may I mention I was at the top of both lists? Yea yea he says it’s in no particular order but I beg to differ.
Anyhoo, in the interest of time, I am going to consolidate (I think I just revealed my profession with that word lol) both speeches into one.

I loooooooooove blogville, it is the best community that I have ever been forced, okay maybe forced is a strong word, greatly encouraged? Yea I think that works. Blogville is the best community I have ever been greatly encouraged to join and I am so glad I allowed myself to be encouraged...

I hereby tag everybody on my blog roll. You know who you is… you all are on my blog roll because I love your blog and I would not love it if I did not think you were honest……How’s that for creativity??? lol

6 Now I know that the LORD saves his anointed;
he answers him from his holy heaven
with the saving power of his right hand. Some trust in chariots and some in horses,
but we trust in the name of the LORD our God. They are brought to their knees and fall,
but we rise up and stand firm.
Psalm 20:6-8