:(

Its saturday night and i am home alone, I should be studying but being on blogville sounded like a better idea.

so a friend sent this to me and i figured i'd share


30 C0MMANDMENTS TO BEING THE "PERFECT" WIFEY (NAIJA STYLEE)

1. Thou shall NOT be a LONG TINS BABE (you know what I mean?)
2. Thou shall not lack in boobs, yansh and hips. If you must, please lack only one and find a way to make up for it.
3. Thou shall NOT be a down to earth, real or ride or die chick. i.e all those ruff, rugged and raw "tell it as it is" girls, NOT WERKING.
4. Thou shall not have dew hair (All those afro/afro-kinky "soul" sisters… FORGET IT).
5. Thou shall not be a non-church goer. Ladies, for extra credit, be an usher, Sunday school aunty or PRAYER WARRIOR (This applies to other religious sects)
6. Thou shall not go to club to find husband... YOU GO JONZ!!
7. Thou shall not drink hard liquor or beers. Stick to 2 glasses of wine, IF YOU MUST DRINK ALCHOHOL.
8. Thou shall not have un-manicured nails (It has to be French manicure acrylic nails).
9. Thou shall not have daddy issues (victims of divorced parents and dysfunctional families … keep it to yourselves).
10. Thou shall not go without makeup (i.e. caked foundation, studio fix but ensure that the make up has a natural look which is purple lip liner, pink lip gloss and chocolate/natural eye shadows)

11. Thou shall not lack culinary skills. Perfect the art of egusi,ogbono and all variations of rice. Home Economics is in order
12. Thou shall not be a "posh sturvs". Sushi or lasagne…uh....really?.
13.Thou shall not knack ya head when you have a weave. Futhermore, on no account should you be caught scratching and flicking the condiments into thin air. That is simply DISGUSTING.
14. Thou shall not do any strange degrees, such as development, journalism or medical genetics. Ladies, stick to law, engineering, accounting, business or pharmacy.
15. Thou shall not have a sense of humour or try to even be funny (note: SARCASM IS A NO NO)
16. Ultimately, thou shall not go past a first degree, maybe masters (PHD IS AN ABORMINATION)
17. If thou must study a masters, please please, remember to dumb down when hanging with his friends.
18. Thou shall not disclose too much of yourself. You will seem needy
19. Thou SHALL NOT have a sex life or sexual imagination prior to meeting him. Let him "teach" you.
20. Thou shall not listen to anything other than r'n'b or hip hop (common is pushing it). All you World music and rock chicks, NOT HAPPENING MATE).

21. Thou shall NOT an independent woman. (all those "I can pay my own bills" bullshit… Basically , LONG TINS). Refer to commandment one!
22. Thou shall not be opinionated or well informed (WARNING: This might come off as intimidating. Besides, no one likes a miss know it all).
23. Thou shall not go to any obscure University. Please stick to Kent, Leicester, Nottingham, and Reading. (WARNING- YOU WILL END UP ALONE).
24. Thou shall not be overly friendly. All those social butterflies and jovial. Personalities…BEWARE.
25. Thou shall not be anti-social when it comes to his family. You have to GET IN THERE FULLY.
26. Thou shall not explore any originality when it comes to fashion. Stick to T.M Lewin, Hawes&Curtis, pointies or kitten heels, and jeans– Abortion belt always puts the icing on the cake. To complete the look, don't be seen without your thick framed rectangular glasses (YOU SHOULD HAVE GONE TO SPECSAVERS).
27. Thou shall not hunt in packs (warning to girls with bossom bodies that cant be separated
28. Thou shall NOT be loud. Keep your voice to a minimum always
29. Thou shall not appear to be having too much fun on the dance floor. When it comes to dancing, keep it simple (Dutty winders and grinders, ITS NOT HAPPENING).

30. Thou shall not think about breaking this next commandment. The ULTIMATE, IF NOT YOU ARE FINISHED.It Will be an OYO STATE (on you own) FOR YOU FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. LADIES PLEASE PLEASE AND PLEASE DO NOT GO TO THE BEDROOM WITH ANY WRAPPER, NIGHT SHIRT, WHITE TOP GEL OR SHELLY ON YOUR FACE. If you must Do all the above, LADIES, BURN THOSE GOLD AND BLACK HAIR NETS. Girls, we are all guilty of owning a hair net or 2. And we know that all the commandments before suggests that you must be a babe on P constantly. You have to FIND A WAY TO WORK AROUND THIS HAIR NET ISSUES. Statistics dictates that one in two marriages FAIL due to this.

I only have the permed hair, no abortion belt and accounting degree working for me..Lord help me!!

Have a great weekend people..

Random Musings

It’s past 10 on a Sunday and I am not asleep, why? Because I don’t have to be up at the crack of dawn tomorrow to make it in to work..yaaay for presidents day…

I hope everyone had a good valentine’s day, it was my first “real” v-day and I had a blast. I am currently lying in bed in a chocolate induced haze. As in, my tummy really really hurts. I wonder what happens when you OD on chocolate.

I went to see my first non chick flick in about 5 years this weekend (this whole compromise thing is no joke), the international. It was not bad at all. Speaking of movies, I highly highly recommend “slum dog millionaire” it’s a great movie...I mean I don’t usually like independent movies but this is an exception.

So tomorrow is my consult to see about having my wisdom teeth pulled this weekend. Yaay..NOT!!!

It just occurred to me that this is the first weekend in a while that I have not run into a famous person..hmm, i was beginning to get used to it.

I am going to try not to skip any classes this week...

Have a great week People!!

VOTD

I know, O LORD, that a man's life is not his own;

it is not for man to direct his steps.

Jer 10:23

Way too much!

I heard this song this weekend and I just had to share.
Its called my worship is for real.
I found a video on youtube and it happened to be my church choir singing it!





My fave part is the line that says "i've been through too much not to worship" hmm hmm hmm!!

I met Fred hammond on saturday at the bowling alley.. went over to say hi.. took a picture(which has promptly been made my facebook profile pic..of cuss)and talked to him. Apparently he was in cooncert in naija in dec?

I randomly stumbled upon the VOTD on sat and i think it deserves its own blog post. I believe its a prayer that we as young adults should take seriously especially in this gimme gimme world we live in.

VOTD

Keep falsehood and lies far from me;

give me neither poverty nor riches,

but give me only my daily bread.

Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you

and say, 'Who is the LORD ?'

Or I may become poor and steal,

and so dishonor the name of my God.

Prov 30:8&9

Just because

I got infected by the 25 random things epidemic going round facebook, i figured i would post mine on here and start our own blogville epidemic.

1) I have a problem putting words to paper.
2) I have an obsession with bright colors.
3) My kids’ names will all start with the same alphabet which will be the same as their last name, of course
4) It is my life’s goal to taste all the ice cream flavors at cold stone creamery. I am currently at 80%
5) I am a walking contradiction…I love romantic albeit unrealistic movies but my favorite songs are songs about heartbreak, I won’t eat tomatoes but can’t do without Ketchup.
6) Even though I miss Florida like crazy I am kinda glad I moved out here
7) I intend to take all the sections of the CPA exam before the year runs out..
8)soulja boy,lil wayne and their kind offend me
9) I don’t like hearing myself speak so I don’t have a voicemail greeting message
10) One of my favorite shows to watch is snapped on oxygen. The whole women killing their husband thing intrigues me
11) The last few days I have been dreaming of invoices, reports and reconciliations
12) Baking relaxes me
13) The pounds gained as a result of the above worries me
14) I don’t remember when last I got 8 hours of sleep at night
15) When it comes to words spoken, I strongly believe in context over content..anybody can say anything.
16) I lose all self control when I am near a box of ferrero rocher hazelnut chocolate
17) I really used to believe personal relationships should never have drama… ha!
18) I want to visit every state in the U.S.
19) I honestly sincerely deeply believe there is a God and He loves me very much.
20) Its a huge struggle to go to class… I am so over school
21) I used to think my Job was great until this past week
22) I just discovered my favorite color last year
23) Shopping gives me a headache
24) I am addicted to half.com
25) Shoes are the keys to my heart

If you read this..consider yourself tagged...

VOTD

If you are willing and obedient,

you will eat the best from the land;

Isaiah 1:19

The one about the dropped call.

allo wonderful blogville people...
My computer is fixed..yeaah!
its been a while and a lot has indeed happened, its February!! The month of love right? not!

Today’s post is not so random but was inspired by a random event..


The day was last week Tuesday, the time was during my lunch break , life had been crazy for a while so my best friend and I had not really had time to gist.. we ended up having to make do with conversations during lunch break errands. anyhoo, i was on my way to wlamart and also recounting the boy's latest offenses( you know those can you imagine, and then he said and then I said conversations?) I was so into it and I did not realize that I had been talking to myself for a while.. I mean t-mobile had cut me off so smooth that I did not even know when it happened.

it was not until the next day that I realized I was the exact same situation with God, We used to gist on the regular but then life and school and work and relationships and family happened I couldn’t even identify the exact time we stopped communicating. I just know we had stopped. I would even be at church and my mind would be pondering the best time to go grocery shopping to avoid all the traffic. Its not like I was not interested in the word, on the contrary I was. I had just allowed a lot of junk to drown out the still small voice.

So right now I am in the middle of the very “fun” task of “unpiling” trying to get rid of all the junk so I can hear Him clearer. But you know its soo much easier to put on than to take off.

I guess the lesson of the day is, it’s always a good idea to do an “are you there” check just to make sure your call has not dropped.


*blogville, help me pray for motivation with school, I have never been this disinterested in anything. Today, I literally drove to class, was about to turn into my building, sat at the red light for a few minutes longer than normal, said bump this, made a u turn to come home and I feel absolutely no remorse.

VOTD

If you do well, will you not be accepted?

And if you do not do well, sin lies at the door.

And its desire is for you, but you should rule over it.”

Genesis 4:7