This has been a very strange weekend. I really do not understand these past 48 hours. I started off this weekend being extremely excited for my first missions meeting. The meeting went well but then after that I don’t know what happened and I just started feeling really really down. Actually I do know what happened, I got attacked..and no I am not one of those overly spiritual people that blame the devil for everything, but I am wise enough to recognize an attack when I see one. I have this cloud over me that I cannot explain along with this overwhelming feeling of loneliness that’s just sapping away my energy. I couldn’t even make it to church this morning and I stayed in bed till 6pm. The problem with being in this kind of mood is that It begins to affect you physically. I started to feel sick. I finally decided to get up and go grocery shopping since all I had in my fridge was cheese and on my way back from the store, I heard this song on the radio and I just lost it. So here I am in the middle of traffic with meat and plantain in my backseat and tears streaming down my face and I have no idea why.
The reason why I know this is an attack is I have no reason to be sad. On the contrary, I should be excited, it’s the first week of the fall semester, I am much closer to my second degree. Also, in about 3 weeks, I will be standing in Mexico doing something I have always wanted to do and experiencing God in a whole new way. So why am I sad? The thing is, I struggle with mood swings and I guess I am having one of my episodes. I don’t like it, I am working through it, and I definitely believe I will be free of it but until such a time as that occurs, I have no choice but to ride it through.
VOTD
I will be glad and rejoice in your love,
I will be glad and rejoice in your love,
for you saw my affliction
and knew the anguish of my soul.
PS 31:7
4 comments:
i totally get this..you can come thru it..i was like this at some point in my past..but i'm way better now..thanks to God. be strong on the Lord..keep encouraging yourself in the Lord...
peace
Hi there, navigated through from Jaycee's blog. I feel you on this... Many, many years ago, I used to get severe moods swings (result of broken relationship) that i would stay locked in doors the whole weekend, and would only venture out on monday to work - cus I know I had to pay the bills! But I thank God for his healing hands and friends around me. What I learnt then was to read and confess the bible... Loudly.. and pray openly, not silently. we can't talk and be engrosed in these emotions at the same time. Light and darkness cannot mix, so I learnt talking and praying out loud, helped to shift my focus from the emotional attack and eventually with God's help it lifts, and each time it happens, I got stronger and better at avoiding and getting out of it, and before long, was healed of it. Also, if you have really good friends around, enlighten them to know the signs and they can help lift your spirits up, engage you in activities and pray with and for you. God is your strength, dig deep and embrace God's word. It is well with your soul. God bless
thanks a lot guys!
What I do nowadays is to *make a list of things that I'm thankful for and start laughing*
After the rain always comes the rainbow...
I luv u for being such an incredulously honest BUM!!!! Call u soon!
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